December 2011
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i painted my boyfriend a picture of us from when we were zombies for our anniversary that is on wednesday but i’m really scared to give it to him lol idk why i’m posting on here cus i haven’t in so long but yeah and i think i’m just gonna end up painting all of my friends pictures for christmas cus every time i get money i spend it on myself lol selfish okay bye.
November 2011
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So, tell me now where was my fault in loving you...
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I only want to be with him.
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October 2011
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and really it’s just like i want you to talk to me and explain to me why i should really think you care about me because i don’t think you would’ve done the things you did if you did care idk
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it’s all fucking happening again like fuck everything is going great but now i’m thinking about the shit you did to me in the past and i guess i’m not over it or something i thought i was but i’m not and i can’t listen to the fucking strokes anymore without crying dude i loved them so fuck this sucks i wish you’d apologize and realize how much this has effected...
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update on my interesting life-
my last cross country meet/first district meet was on friday and that went well and it was really fun i beat my personal best and got 16:46 for 2 miles which is very hard for me so i was extremely happy also catherine told me i got about a 7:15 mile so that was my best as well also last night was my last homecoming and it was fun i suppose jose finally met my dad (as my date not my bf) and my dad...
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I can’t stop thinking about my dad. I’m dreading tomorrow. I feel so alone. I told my boyfriend that we should stop hanging out so much because of my dad but now I just want to be with him and lay with him and I want him to hold me and I need him right now. I’m not ready to lose my dad yet and I’m so fucking scared. I can only hope that the news is good.
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venting.
It’s really hard for me now knowing that my dad could possibly die in a year or two. I guess I was fine before because I didn’t know all of the details and how serious it was. I hate talking to my mom as if we know he’s about to die and discussing what we would do. I don’t want to cry in front of my mom and I hate when she cries in front of me. I started crying a little bit...
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i can’t make up my mind on what kind of zombie i want to be for halloween omg i can’t believe i still don’t know so i was going to be a japanese school girl zombie but i couldn’t find the outfit i wanted for cheap so my boyfriend thinks i should be a hipster zombie and that seems fun but idk if i really really want to and i was also thinking about being a cool punk zombie...
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So there may be a chance that my dad will only live one more year. Can’t say I don’t feel like dying. We should find out Monday.
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Cancer sucks
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i’m scared you’ll only want me for sex
